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Fellow Travelers

Thursday, April 29, 2010

OH Baby!

Spring has sprung and baby fever is in the air...

The Jetplanes have been discussing babies alot lately. But with Mr. knee deep in flight school and a potential deployment occurring in December (yeah that's right, I said December), right now its not in the cards.

Earlier this week Mr. asked me the following question that was sort of off putting, "Why do you want to have a baby?"

Why do I want to have a baby....hmm...

I want to start a family with this man that I love more than anything in this world.
I want to have a baby because I turn 30 in June and I have totally irrational fears that I won't be able to have a baby.
I want to bring something into this world that is a combination of the two of us and our love.

And DAMN IT I just want one... but I'm scared to death, I'll admit it. SCARED TO DEATH about having a child. Scared about how I would handle the load of a child with everything else in my life....especially with future deployments that lie ahead.

Sometimes my crazy mind drifts into the nightmares of seeing myself at home trying to work full time like I do now, with 2 kids, 2 dogs, housework, cooking, etc. all by myself when my husband is deployed...and that causes me some serious heart palpitations.

I know plenty of women do it, heck I may work part time or none at all, who knows, but the fear of that unknown shakes me to my core sometimes...

I know I'm not the only one out there. And I know there are plenty of women, mil wife and non-mil wife, that juggle and struggle through the day to day of having kids, work, home life, heck even a social life...I know I'm going to be looking to them as my role models.

16 comments:

Jessica Lynn said...

I'm knee deep in baby fever, but have the same fears as you. It's hard being married, but realizing you're going to be a single parent when he's deployed, and that's what I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Ms. 20-Something Career Gal said...

You make time for the things that are important to you. If a baby is important to you, then it will happen. :-) No worries!

-A Loyal Reader

*Jenn* said...

I share those same fears! And were only 4 weeks into basic! lol But I have nightmares about being stuck at home while he is deployed and im up to my eyebrows in kids, chores, work, and everything else in between! *sigh* I dont like thr thought of it-

Windy City Kelley's said...

I feel ya. I'm 2 weeks away from having our first baby and I'm scared out of my mind. I'm sure once the baby arrives I'll be fine, but for now I'm terrified.

Samma said...

You know that I am freaking out since I currently have 9 preggo friends! I am not having baby fever yet, but feel with 29 just around the corner it's coming soon. Everytime someone I know gets PG who has an actual JOB, I get so excited to figure out how they are going to do it. The other female attorney at my firm have a secret plan to be preggo at the same time, then job and nanny share. The partners will die!

PinkSass said...

I saw the post title and I was like OMG..I thought maybe you were already pregnant. :)

I think with the thoughts of a baby comes happiness and also fears. I obviously don't have the same fears as you but I totally see where you are coming from.

Mrs. G.I. Joe said...

I had a massive meltdown when I found out I was pregnant. (We were both only 21 and hadn't been able to even live in the same state at all during our marriage because of G.I. Joe's orders) Then I had a BIG breakdown when I was 8 months along because I knew I'd deliver alone, have to face the first 6 months alone, and many more deployments. But you know...I think its totally normal for those fears to come up. You can't ever be truly prepared, you just learn along the way. And there will always be a reason to put off having a baby. ALWAYS.

When the time is right for you guys it might seem scary at times but the hugs and kisses and extra smiles make it worth it.

And you are right...plenty of women do it. Not only that but sometimes those mil-wives go on to have 3 or more kids. There is a reason for that. (We are done after 1 but that's not because "its too hard" we just like family time) But really. If it wasn't worth the trouble there would be a lot less military brats in the world ;)

Sara said...

I totally hear ya'! Some days I think I'm completely ready and others I get so freaked out. I mean, on the one hand, I love my life how it is, but on the other, I think how much closer my husband I can be as parents.

My BF is a new mom whose husband has been deployed twice and is now in Houston on assignment (we're in Fort Worth). She's struggling to be honest, but she's making it and I'm so proud of her.

Bottom line is, you CAN do it. You just don't know it yet. :)

Mrs H said...

I'm not a mother yet, but my opinion is that being a parent is one of those things that you never feel prepared for, you just have a desire to do it. I think you'll be a great Mom!

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I have that same fear that the older I get, I won't be able to have one. Hang in there! I'm sure it'll happen for you!

Elle said...

It seems like the whole world is pregnant or has a new baby right now... crazy... I guess we're just getting to that stage where our friends are settling down and starting families...

I agree with you about the fear of the future and the unknown... as I start thinking about medical school... I'll be 31 when I graduate... 31... and just about to start residency which is the hardest period of a doctors life... I'm afraid I can't do it all.. have a career and children and be a present and loving mother and spouse... and Im afraid that if I wait I won't be able to have kids... or my kids will be the one's who have the "old mom"...

But, whenever I get on that track... I just remind myself to take a few deep breaths... my life has worked out in God's timing so far and looking back there are times when I really thought I was ready for things to happen, but now I'm so glad they didn't because I wasn't really ready... So I'm trusting God's timing for my life... He's done good with it so far!

Anonymous said...

My husband and I were parents before he joined the military. And, our daughter was the biggest reason he did join. To give her a better, more stable life. I know that sounds odd given how often we move, deployments, TDY's, etc., but it's true. And, we had 2 more within the first 2 years of him being in.

My kids don't know any better other than military brat life, and that's fine by me. I'm gonna be biased now, but my kids are much more resilient to life's changes and challenges than many of my civilian friends kids who have no concept of military or even a world outside of their own little bubble.

When you are ready for kids, you will still have the fears, but once you see those beautiful eyes look up at you for the first time or the smile you can get for the first time, they will all melt away and you will realize that no matter how hard life gets, you will get through it!

Dezzy Lou Where Are You said...

I have always admired so so much all the women that can 'do it all' without a second set of hands at home!

Brittany said...

Amen. I watch Sixteen and Pregnant and it scares me even more! But not matter when it happens, you'll be a great mama!

Sara said...

I'm there with you! You'll know when you're ready =)

Bombtastic Belle said...

I sat in that spot of baby-wanting for almost a year before I finally consented to hubs to give it a try. (He's that guy who wanted kids the first year we were married, lol.) And after taking a month to track my ovulation, we we got a positive test 30 days later. Scary!

I'm beyond terrified of having a baby - I'm not really a fan of kids (seriously, why are they so rude nowadays?!), but I know I'll figure it all out when ours comes around in December. I think you'll just know when it's ok... and maybebe like me and be in denial for almost 11 weeks. *lol*

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