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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What deployment looks like...

I haven't written this post for a couple of reasons.
#1 Mr's departure days/time is sensitive for obvious reasons.
#2 It makes me sad.
#3 I don't have good pictures.
These departures generally happen at night and they are notorious for getting canceled and rescheduled....and of course that happened to us.

(p.s. you can see our new backsplash behind us...I still need to paint the cabinets while Mr. is gone)

This is the only decent picture we have together before he left and its horrible. It was taken on try night #1. This is what I look like after bursting into tears on and off for 48 hrs. Yeah... its tough stuff especially when you had to pick up your husband and do it all over again another 24 hrs later. What else was fun on the second try...ohhh it was just about 20 degrees cooler and windy as hell.
We said our goodbyes and I love you's and I left him at his squadron for the 2nd night in a round. I then met up with the other wives at our sister squadron. They were nice enough to host us and take us down to the flight line. The squadron leaves in waves that are spread out over several days and they leave in groups which they call ships. If you see 4 jets in a group that is called a 4 ship. There were 2 ships leaving the night Mr. Jetplane left.
I apologize for the pictures, they are horrible. It is sooo dark and only 2 generators with lights were out there. It was FREEZING and my hands where shaking.
This is Mr. Jetplane's jet. I stood, waved, and spun my glowsticks so much you would think I was at a rave...surprisingly he said he never saw me until they lined up for take off. Here they are lined up and preparing to take off. They took off 1 by 1. It was truly an amazing and moving experience. I was proud to share this time with my fellow spouses and the entire sister squadron out there to show their support. I cheered and jumped up and down as Mr. Jetplane pulled up and waved goodbye. You then hear and feel the jet take off. You watch the jet engines create these balls of fire and then become smaller and smaller balls of light in the dark night sky. It might sound cheesy but you haven't lived until you feel a group of jets take off from the flight line...it is an amazing sight.
And then...they are gone. Its this strange, surreal feeling that you can't explain. You come home around 2am and this is what you have left...And you are filled with pride and sadness at the same time... You try to go to sleep in your empty bed and realize this is how its going to be for a while. You try to calm down your big bulldog because he's wandering around the house looking for his daddy and you cry because you have to tell him over and over that daddy isn't here.
I've been told numerous times the 1st deployment is the toughest. The first week is the toughest. You have to take it day by day... and that's exactly what I am doing.
Less than 1% of the US population serve in uniform and I am honored to call one of those few my husband.
Thank you all for your love and support during this time. I greatly appreciate it and all of you.
XOXO

27 comments:

Malissa said...

My heart hurts for you right now, I know this must be such a difficult time for you. I'm praying for you and Mr. JP, for peace and safety both. Thank you both for your sacrifice.

Pixie said...

I actually cried alittle reading your post because they way you write I can feel your pain. I can not imagine where your head is at at this moment but I know your heart aches for your husband, and I will send all my good hopes and prayers to you both for a safe return. Stay safe Mr Jetplane, you really are a very special man for doing what you do x

Manda said...

The first one really is the hardest. The unknowns make it that way. We've been through five deployments and though each is rough, they seem to get a bit easier to. ((hugs)) I will pray that Mr. Jetplane stays safe and that he's home soon!

tootie said...

My heart goes out to you. Hang in there, and I will be praying fo you (and the Mr, too).

BelleinBows said...

You are in my thoughts lady. You are a stronger woman than myself.

Rachel said...

Hey Love. My heart breaks for you, i know how awful those first few days are and i hope you're doing better now that a little bit of time has passed.

My husband is AF as well, and on his first deployment (six years ago?) I can remember standing out on the flight line with the guys, holding him tight and watching the jets take off. That rumble, that flash of heat and light, watching all of this happen... it's really something else and as sad as I was, it's hard not to be so full of pride in that moment.

He's headed out on his fifth deployment this fall and i'm already counting down the days that I have left with him. Sick, I know but it's all part of the life we live.

Anyway. Hugs, Prayers and so much love to you both right now. <3

~Kristen~ said...

I am so sorry that you have to go through a deployment. Yes, the first one is the hardest and the first week is the worst. I hope the time flies by for you and your pup. Seperations are never easy, but a big thanks to you and your husband for what you sacrifices.

Mrs. Smith said...

Oh wow girl. My eyes are filling with tears. You are one strong woman, and you have an incredible husband to be very proud of. You are both in my prayers.

Miss Chelsea said...

Wow what an amazing experience! I can't imagine the sadness, but thank you for recapping it to share with the rest of us, I guess I never thought about/realized that they left in their actual jets (duh kinda dumb now that I think about it ha)

Thank your husband for us! (And thanks to you for being a brave & strong supportive wife!)

Minnesota Girl said...

Wow. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. My prayers are with Mr. Jetplane as he's over fighting for our country and fighting for our beliefs. My prayers are also with you. It's people like you that make me SO PROUD to be a part of this country. THANK YOU.

Jessica Lynn said...

You are so much stronger than you think you are and I know you'll get through this.

The lead up to the deployment is always one of the hardest things for me to deal with, especially when they tease you with times. Hang in there!

Allison Hasel said...

Thinking of you girl! You definitely get used to it, but it never gets any easier.

Chic Runner said...

I cried while reading this. You are so strong and I am so proud to even have 'met' you through the internet :) I think of you often and know that Mr. Jetplane is safe and doing something for our country that is the most amazing thing ever.

Brittney said...

I just got goosebumps reading this. Thank you to your husband and YOU for his service to our country. Praying for a safe and speedy return!

Cookie Crums said...

I can only imagine how amazing it is to watch the jets take off.... and how proud you were to know that was your man! Praying for is safety and strength for you.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine your emotions. I get upset when my husband leaves for a 2 day business trip only 3 hours away. Love hurts, but oh the feeling you will have when he returns. Prayers to you and him while he's gone.

Windy City Kelley's said...

I bet that would be amazing to see. Hang in there and stay strong (for that little bulldog of your's). :)

Mary Michal said...

I'm crying for you. You and your husband are so brave.

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Praying for strength and comfort for you (and the dogs) during deployment.

Thank you for sharing your husband with with all of us.

d.a.r. said...

Oh gah, I am crying for you. I am so sorry sweetie. I hope he is home safely soon.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

sweetie my heart just aches for you.. i'm in tears sitting here. i've been through so many of these between my parents and brother, but it takes such a strong person to watch their spouse leave.. you're in my constant thoughts and prayers.

Ashley Ann said...

This post had me in tears! I hope the deployment goes quickly for both of you! My boyfriend is in flight school so we haven't experienced this yet (except for cross country flights and a long distance relationship while I finished school and we were still able to communicate regularly). I thought that was terrible so I can't even imagine what you're going through. Best of luck and keep yourself busy!

caknitter said...

I would have been a mess too. Thanks for sharing the pictures. Pretty exciting stuff. :-)

momto2tweens said...

Thank you and thank you to your husband for his service to our country. I have watched multiple deployment and just reading your post made my eyes fill with tears. It instantly brings back all the feelings. The dedication and bravery of our military and their families are unparallel. My heart goes out to you all!

Sharon said...

Thanks for sharing that bittersweet moment. I'm very proud of all our servicemen and pray for their safety. Mr. Jetplane is lucky to have you at home supporting him.

MissBrightside said...

Reading your post brings back many memories. My husband was in the Navy for 20 years. He had 5 8-month deployments and 2 1-year deployments.
The heartache of it all will never get better, but you will learn to live with it. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but it is true.
It seems like forever, but take my advice...don't count the days, don't track the time, it just makes it worse.
Be sad if you're sad. Cry every day if you want. Be as happy as you can and never say "i'm fine" if you aren't. And after all, the best day is coming...homecoming!!

Semper Wifey said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this tough time. I wanted to let you know that I'm totaaly going to steal your glowstick idea when it's our turn! What a cute way to wave goodbye!

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