Thursday, September 17, 2009
How to Win Friends & Influence People
7:18 AM | 
Posted by
Heather Warren
Well what is the one part of being a military wife that literally makes my skin crawl... its probably not what you expect... While the deployments will be horrid, that's not it. Its meeting all the new husbands, wives, families, etc. and hoping that some of them can become my friends.
Everyone means well... we all do...but women, we at our root are judging b*tches, we are, I am. I can't even help it. I'm not too proud to admit it, and accepting is the first step, right?
So last week I had my first meetup with the commander's wife and several other wives within the squadron. It went great, they are all very nice and I look forward to getting to spend more time with all of them. Its just difficult due to having a job and a lot of their meet up and events occur during the weekdays.
That being said, I hope they liked me... in general I have a strong personality. I'm talkative, but I can also be very quiet, and sometimes people take that the wrong way. If I don't have anything to add to that particular conversation, I don't. Mr. Jetplane thinks that I'm rude to some people sometimes...its not true, sometimes I just do n't have anything to say.
Anyway, I'm beginning to ramble... we are meeting a 'new' couple of dinner tonight. I believe they are around our age, she works, and they have 2 dogs (no kids). Crossing my fingers...
Everyone means well... we all do...but women, we at our root are judging b*tches, we are, I am. I can't even help it. I'm not too proud to admit it, and accepting is the first step, right?
So last week I had my first meetup with the commander's wife and several other wives within the squadron. It went great, they are all very nice and I look forward to getting to spend more time with all of them. Its just difficult due to having a job and a lot of their meet up and events occur during the weekdays.
That being said, I hope they liked me... in general I have a strong personality. I'm talkative, but I can also be very quiet, and sometimes people take that the wrong way. If I don't have anything to add to that particular conversation, I don't. Mr. Jetplane thinks that I'm rude to some people sometimes...its not true, sometimes I just do n't have anything to say.
Anyway, I'm beginning to ramble... we are meeting a 'new' couple of dinner tonight. I believe they are around our age, she works, and they have 2 dogs (no kids). Crossing my fingers...
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20 comments:
I can be the same way. When I don't have much to say or am really tired I tend to be more quiet than usual. Sometimes people will ask if everything is ok or I'll just apologize in advance for the fact that I'm being more quiet than usual.
I'm sure they all loved you & I hope your meet-n-greet will go well tonight. If they have 2 dogs, they can't be all bad, right?
I can be the same way as well, I'm usually very quiet. My husband usually just says "That's just the way she is," and eventually a few more words will spill out. Good luck tonight!
Hope it goes well!!
That must be hard to meet new people and neighbors all of the time. Good luck with the new couple tonight!
I'm the same way. I don't always feel like I have to include myself in every topic which to some ppl comes off rude but I don't think it is. I just have anything to say.
Have fun tonight. I'm sure they will love you!
Good luck! I can't see how anyone wouldn't like you!
I'm the same way. When I'm around a bunch of my husband's friends that I don't know well, I tend to be on the quiet side. He thinks it seems rude sometimes. I guess when you have a strong personality and become quite, you can seem rude or like something's wrong.
I doubt you'll have any trouble making new friends! Have fun tonight!
I am in complete agreement with you. I hate meeting new people. I realize that at some point in time all of my friends were "new People", but still I hate the awkward forced conversation. and sometimes you meet people who just rub you the wrong way and then you're stuck there for two hours through the rest of dinner with them... it's just all so awkward.
I also agree about girls judging you... I know I do it, but I hate walking into a group of girls who have been friends for ages and you're the new one. Ick!
Good luck! In three weeks I'm moving into the realm where I'm going to have to meet people and hope to make new friends. It's really a daunting feeling, and hopefully it'll turn out well in the end.
its hard to make new girlfriends sometimes... and I too can be very quiet when I have nothing to add
Women are tough on each other! I am totally guilty of it!
Good luck tonight!
I can be the same way. If I don't know you very well, or have much to contribute I just get quiet and my husband think it lookslike I'm sulking. I'm not, but he's always Mr. Social so he thinks it's rude.
Hope you hit it off with the couple tonight...
Wow I'm so amazed that so many people feel the same way about being misunderstood! I dated a guy in high school who always said that about me- that I was coming across as standoffish or rude when really I was just kinda shy. Other times I talk too much and that puts people off too. Especially when I get opinionated. Be grateful that your base DOES meetups like that! Our base does NADA. There are facebook and myspace groups but nothing ever comes of it. Its so lame.
I totally agree that meeting new people is the hardest part of being a military wife. I'm sure your dinner date with the other couple will go well tonight.
It is so hard to make new friends as an adult. I hope you have a great time with the new couple! I like people that don't feel the need to add their 2 cents to every convo! I think it is a good trait.
Good Luck! No one couple will ever top Dane & I!!! ;)
I am very quiet at first because I am really taking everything in and listening to what the other people are saying. Once I have been around new people a couple of times, I warm up.
Hope the meet n' greet went well!
I feel ya! I grew up in a military family and had to make new friends after every move but I still suck at it. I'm naturally shy around new people but unfortunately it comes off as bitchy. Every good friend I've ever had has said to me at some point, 'Yeah, when we first met, I thought you were a bitch.' I don't know why or how to fix it. Now I just make a really concerted effort to join conversations even though it makes me uncomfortable.
Ayiyi, good luck!!!
I've noticed that when we succumb to the most vulnerable of instinct to judge, we close ourselves off to possibilities. Hence, train yourself not to judge, and when you present yourselves to others they will see someone open and willing to accept. If they however have and are stuck in the rut of judging others, bypass them. Eventually you'll meet someone for whom positive thoughts has reaped great rewards and will share the friendship with you.