Sunday, March 15, 2009
Boys will be Boys??
1:44 PM | 
Posted by
Heather Warren
Ok, I must start by saying that Mr. Jetplane is a wonderful guy and I trust him completely. And the fact that my cute hubby has a nasty porn stache can't do anything for his appeal with the ladies right now...
But here's a question that came up this weekend. Would you be okay with your husband going out with another guy who has allegedly been unfaithful to his wife? What do they say about the company you keep? Its one thing to have cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend, because I've been that person, but this is a whole other level of deceit... or at least it seems that way to me.
Just putting it out there...
**Update - Point of Clarification Required... I don't have a problem with them being friends. I won't tell him who he can or can't be friends with. I have a small issue with them going out to a bar just the 2 of them. Mr. Jetplane says he has no idea if the rumors about the couple were true or not and he refuses to have conversations with him about it. Which I think is fair....
But here's a question that came up this weekend. Would you be okay with your husband going out with another guy who has allegedly been unfaithful to his wife? What do they say about the company you keep? Its one thing to have cheated on your boyfriend or girlfriend, because I've been that person, but this is a whole other level of deceit... or at least it seems that way to me.
Just putting it out there...
**Update - Point of Clarification Required... I don't have a problem with them being friends. I won't tell him who he can or can't be friends with. I have a small issue with them going out to a bar just the 2 of them. Mr. Jetplane says he has no idea if the rumors about the couple were true or not and he refuses to have conversations with him about it. Which I think is fair....
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12 comments:
I would not. Not because I don't trust my husband, but because I would bot want him to be around someone with no respect of the sanctity of marriage. Clearly if the guy had no respect for his wife, he would have no respect for me.
bot=not Oops!
I have been in this situation before. One of Z's buddies from WP cheated on his fiancée about a billion times before they got married. We were still engaged at this point, and I tried my best to keep my mouth shut. I trust Z completely. However, it did bring about some very interesting conversations, and to see how upset is made Z to see his friend being a total jerk really made me feel a lot better. They continued to hang out, but as it became more and more clear that this guy was lying to his fiancée more often than not (i.e. there was a whole debacle about his bachelor party that most of the wedding guests were whispering about during their wedding reception and the poor girl thought he was a virgin on their wedding night, it was really sad!) Z basically broke up with his friend.
I don't know, it's a weird and uncomfortable situation to be in, and I think Casey is right...the respect thing is huge. As is the whole "if you lay down in crap long enough, it's going to start to rub off" thing.
HELL NO!!!!
I wouldn't have a problem with it. It would weird me out a little, I'll admit, but I trust my husband and he knows right from wrong. It's his choice to spend time with that friend. At the end of the day, though, you can't judge a person's marriage. It's not like you'd know all the dirty details and what really happened.
Hmmm... I don't know how I would feel about that.
I am pretty sure I would be uncomfortable about it. It will almost like condoning what this friend had done?? Maybe I am completely off base here... and I guess it just depends on where they were going and what they were doing while they were hanging out????
100% percent no. We talked about situations like this in our Sunday school class. Mr. Guru and I also have this talk as well. We usually hang out with people who have the same morals and values as we do.
Nope.
We both have the expectation that our friends will have more or less the same morals and values.
...and by more or less I mean pretty small things.
We talked about this a lot in pre-cana, and we continue to keep the lines of communication open when it comes to friends.
Neither of us want to have friends that make the other person even slightly uncomfortable.
My husband would never hang out with a friend that had cheated so luckily I know I would never have to deal with it, but if the truth has not been established by your hubby asking, maybe he should so he knows what kind of person he's dealing with (morally).
Funny you should mention it. Six or seven years ago, I dated a guy, J, who was a diving school classmate of my best friend's fiance, H. J and H didn't really get along, but hung out because of me and my bff. So J and H go out together one night when bff and I aren't in town, and somehow J wrangles H into following him home from the bars to some random girls' house. One of the girls threw herself at H and H drunkenly accepted. H confessed to my bff, but I felt so awful because J was responsible. I mean, if it weren't for me H and J wouldn't have been hanging out.
Needless to say, I still have worries about some of the guys Nick hangs out with when he's TDY and not with a group of guys familiar with me or who respect me. I try not to be crazy about it, but after watching my best friend's situation it is hard. I try to remember that Nick wouldn't let himself get put in bad situations and won't easily succumb to peer pressure.
So I guess that long explanation says I'm not really cool with it, but I try to get past it. I don't blame Mr. Jetplane for wanting to stay out of the whole affair situation.
A friend of ours was engaged and proceeded to go out on a few dates with a girl he was madly in love with, but who didn't want a serious relationship. She was not his fiancee. This friend happens to be Husby's best friend.
As much as Husby's best friend does questionable things from time to time, he has always been there for Husby. I know that Husby has met other women before while out with this friend, and flirted, but he always comes home to me. And tells me the story (partly, I think, because he's proud that he can still pick up women if he wanted to). We laugh about it and then snuggle and go to bed.
A good relationship is about trust. Who your husband/boyfriend associates with shouldn't matter.
I just started following your blog and I am beginning to feel the pain of mustache march as well!