Fellow Travelers

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Question for the peanut gallery...

As I have said, people all around me are getting pregnant but Mrs. Jetplane is not ready to add her name to the list just yet.

Well, yesterday I found out a co-worker's teenage daughter is pregnant. To add to this drama, this girl was previously pregnant last year but lost the baby. I was shocked to hear she was pregnant again and past the 1st trimester. My co-worker told me that her daughter thinks its this status thing, and all her friends are pregnant.

The first words out of my mouth were, "She needs to go to therapy. She is looking for some form of unconditional love and thinks its going to come from a child. She's 16 and should never had been ready to consider getting pregnant again. A miscarriage can be a life altering situation, and I can guarantee she never dealt with that. And a child is going to take much more love than they give at this point. She is too young to be thinking rationally at this point."

Her mother just said, "She won't go. I put her on the pill and she didn't take them. I think she wanted to get pregnant."

I'm totally shocked and I feel bad for my co-worker. I'm not saying whether or not she should have kept the baby, or if she should have taken the birth control. I'm asking... what is wrong with kids today to think that having babies in high school is something 'cool'?

Its not cool, and what kind of warped sense of reality are you idiots living in?

I was the child of a young mother. I was born before my mom's 20th birthday and my parents got married because of me. This in and of itself was my own personal birth control. Its the reason that I never wanted to get married before 25 and probably why I'm not ready to have kids. My mother was married, divorced, with 2 kids at 25. Why would anyone seek that life out?

I think its part society, but more importantly its how you raise your children. I was raised to always want more for myself... education, good paying job, etc. And I wanted this independent of a man. I always desired to be completely self sufficient. I worry these young girls have no self esteem, horrible self image, and will never overcome these issues...

Thoughts?

13 comments:

Gwen said...

Wow that's a tough one. I've heard more and more of teenagers all getting pregnant together so their kids can be friends, etc. It's just stupidity. When I was in school the girls that got pregnant were kicked off of cheerleading and were taught at home.

I am trying my best to raise Ellie with the best set of values/morals she can have. My biggest fear is that something like this will happen to her. I'm trying hard (yeah she's 8) not to push her towards these things. Like when Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant Ellie was no longer allowed to watch her show on television.

This just makes me sick to think that with all of the opportunities avaialable for these girls they would want to risk their futures like this. I know there are sucess stories but those are few and far between.

Keeping this family in my prayers.

USCEmily said...

I agree with everything you have said. I don't know when it became cool to have a child at that age, but it's not responsible at all. Children should be raised in a loving family with 2 parents who are capable of giving them the things they need. I don't see how you can be committed to a relationship and family at age 16 in order to provide for them as you should.
What will end up happening, if I had to guess, is your co-worker will be the one to raise the baby when the 16 year old realizes it is not as easy as she thinks.
It's a sad situation to say the least

Lindsay said...

So sad, but true. I saw an documentary on the "Teenage Pregnancy Epidemic" and it was SCARY!

I honestly don't think these kids get enough reality. And with people catering to them because of their choices, just makes it even easier. They are allowed to live at home with the child, the grandparents babysit while the kid goes to Prom, etc.

That's not being a parent. That's being a parent when it's convenient for you.

There are some places where it's so bad that they have daycares set up in the highschool and they have are required to spend less hours in school! I mean, I'm all for them continuing their education, but let's not make it TOO easy on them.

Ugh. It's a rock and a hardplace, but seriously sad.

Cookie Crums said...

I have a young cousin (17 yrs old in January) due in May. Shocked the heck out of the family. I went with her to do her registry. She was talking about several of her friends with kids.

I WAS SHOCKED!!! Part of me wonders if this was purposely done. I am thankful that she has a good support system but still....

on the Rhoads of life said...

This is NUTS! I totally agree with you. It has become extremely sad how teenagers act so unserious about sex, babies and marriage. And then they think it's "cool" to be prego with their friends. It was an embarassment when I was in High School just 10 years ago.

I know a lot of this attitude has to do with parenting, but I know a lot of awesome parents who still had kids who got knocked up as a teenager. I myself am putting off having a child right now bc I know the reality and cost of having to raise a baby, but I am also 28 and have lived my life a little more. Those girls will live with a lot of regrets! College (the best time of your life) will not be the same - that's for sure!

Mrs. S said...

Mrs. Jetplane,

To start, I would like to say, I am a new reader and really like your blog!

On this topic, I completely agree with the other comments already made. It's like that tv show "Secret Life of an American Teenager" on ABC family. The main character is pregnant and 15 years old. I thought ABC family was "wholesome" tv. What is happening?

Miss E said...

Wow, I'm just in shock. I think we should be raising our daughters to want more, have more, strive for more in their lives. I'm not saying that being a mother isn't the most amazing journey a woman can take, but in this day and age, with contraceptives and such, a family is something to be planned at the right time, with the right person. I think we might be glamorizing it too much in our society and not showing the reality that comes along with it.

Kelly said...

I work at a high school and see pregnant girls all day. Most of them have a lack of parental support at home and are just looking to be loved by anyone and they think a baby will love them no matter what. It is also very difficult for me to watch since Hubs and I have been struggling with fertility for a year now. It is hard to see "kids" pregnant when you know that they have little to offer a baby and you yourself have so much and aren't able to get pregnant.

Mandy said...

First of all ABC is now considered the channel to turn to if you want to see skin! It's ridiculous! Second of all I am so baffled at how idiotic parents are when raising their children. look at Hollywood, all the young teeny boppers are pregnant, it helps our teen reaffirm its okay to have babies young & unwed... I am a firm believer in taking an active role in your childs life from the get go...I am here to be my kids mom not their friend. There are too many parents out there looking to be buddies with kids because they are too chicken shit to discpline them.And they want to be the "cool" parent... In my mind being a cool parent is having a child that turn into a responsible adult and give back to society, not make it worse and become another statistic.
My mother was knocked and married by the time she graduated high school, but my mom was my MOM not my friend...Proud to say none of her kids ever followed her footsteps...
now go out and be your kids MOM not friend...

hotpants4979 said...

Babies having babies... it's all sorts of wrong. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Sounds like her parent(s) should have been more involved.

Jenny Gann said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I work at a crisis pregnancy center, and this is what I see everyday. I just want to look at them and say, "What are you thinking?", but to most girls, that just pushes them away. And to some it is how they're raised, and to others it's the crowd they get into. Someone needs to talk to these girls before they reach this point! It's unbelievable how many parents don't even make an effort, and most of the time it's because they were young mothers also, and never dealt with the problems they themselves faced.

Christine said...

it is just so sad. i just knew that was never an option in our house. my parents didn't even have to tell me some things were not acceptable, it was just known. i think you need the parents to set a good example, and good friends who have the same morals.

Mrs H said...

My cousin was 16 when she got pregnant and 17 when she had her son. She and the father got married and currently have a very rocky relationship. He was going into the Navy and they were "saying good bye". The most sickening part of the whole thing for me was that her Mom knew she was having sex and would allow her to spend unsupervised time alone at his house.

I know there are people who will say "oh if you don't let them do what they want they will just do it behind your back." I don't buy into that. Children are the RESPONSIBILITY of parents. It is a parent's job to mold their child into something wonderful. Not to be their friend and allow them to slip into mediocrity or worse. My parents gave me rules and taught me what was right and wrong and at the time I hated it but today they are my best friends and I so thankful for what they did for me.

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