Fellow Travelers

Monday, February 16, 2009

Baby Jetplane?

Well Mr. Jetplane sure likes to think so...

Yesterday we had seriously 3 conversations about having kids, and each ended with him going..."Oh I didn't think about that!"

Yeah, that's what I thought....

One conversation went something like this...

Mr. Jetplane: "So I was thinking we need to be pregnant by Nov!"

Mrs. Jetplane: "Are you freaking insane?"

Mr. Jetplane: "No, we'll be in NC and I'll be going through training and it would be a perfect time."

Mrs. Jetplane: "Uh, didn't you realize that I'll be pregnant for 9 months, and during that time, you'll finish training and we may have to move to Idaho or England. So I'll be really pregnant, perhaps alone, with 2 dogs, and moving. Uh no."

Mr. Jetplane : "Oh I didn't think about that."

Mrs. Jetplane "Yeah, I didn't assume you did. I would like to have some sense of security, well as much as I can with the military. I would like to be at the same station throughout my pregnancy. We need to figure out insurance..."(right now I have military insurance, but I don't go to the Dr. on base. I also still get insurance from my job on their optical and dental.)

Mr. Jetplane "Ok, well I'm heading into Circuit City, I'll call you back."

So we had 2 more conversations that went similar, except Mister Sweetness informed me that.... "You know you're getting old... ha.. ha.."

Yeah, jackass I know I'm getting old, so are you. I'm only a month a 6 days older than him, and he likes to make me feel like a cougar all the time... annoying much?

Back to the point, we are seriously talking about kids, and this seriously makes me sick to my stomach, and I'm not even knocked up yet.

We want to have kids, but when is the right time. I don't want to be pregnant alone, I want to feel some security, and I'll be honest its scares the living crap out of me.

We'll be moving to NC in August/September and he'll start classes in October. Once he starts we'll be there for 9 months, and then we'll either stay in NC, move to Idaho or England. And he's then technically deployable. So when or when, do the Jetplanes have a baby?

I want to plan a nursery, I don't want to move have to move across the country (or world) during my pregnancy, and I to have developed a group of female friends. Right now, in P'cola I have a small, small handful of friends. Everyone has moved to their next base, and I'm still here working away, making money, without the hubby. Its tough, but its what is best for our family. It made no sense to move to be with him in Texas for 4 months, just to turn around and move again. But now, with his knee, he'll be home in Florida with me until August when he leaves for survival school and then its off to NC.

Oh so much to figure out... I want to have kids, as much as I act like I don't, I do, but it scares the living crap out of me. I'll be 29 this year, I might not be good at math, but that's pretty close to 30 and I'm concerned about my ability to have kids. Not that I have any real medical conditions that make me think that's an issue, its just this internal worry I've always had. I've been on the pill for 10 years now, and that concerns me too. I know everyone says its not an issue, but I worry, that's what I do.

Oh boy... so much to think about and plan. But that didn't stop me from looking up kids furniture and bedding last night... What am I doing?
Also Mr. Jetplane thinks we're going to have 2 boys. Lord help me, I can't have 2 boys. I already have 2 male dogs, and need a girl. Estrogen is most definitely needed in my house.


Stephanie said...

Hmm...I don't think there is ever really a "perfect" time. I am a firm believer in "trying" when it feels right and everything else will fall into place. We can always find reasons to push it off a month or year longer.

It takes the average woman 6-12 months to get pregnant, so my theory is it is better to start a litle earlier than you want than wait until you decide it is "perfect" because it could take a year from that date.

Does that make sense?

I don't mean for this to sound lecturey. I just reread it and it kinda does. I promise I am just trying to be helpful. I need coffee.

Running In Stilettos said...

From one military spouse to another...don't expect your plans to work out the way you planned them. My girlfriend's husband turned down his non-deployable B-Billet b/c he wanted to take it 3 years from now (when they wanted to start a family). Well, 6 months into his deployable billet, she got knocked-up! SURPRISE!!! Now, she is alone with a high-risk pregnancy and he is gone!

Just plan as best you can, but know that being in the military makes all plans laughable :)

I think it makes the idea of kids that much scarier for us. Knowing we won't have family down the block, we might be alone during the pregancy (and child rearing years)...but you will have a ton of other moms on base to become friends with! Heck, we don't have kids and we are definitely the minority!

Blue-Eyed Bride said...

Coming from a pregnant girl who didn't PLAN to get pregnant, here's my story.... We weren't ready and we may not be ready yet. We're trying to get ready and we're really excited. We knew when we got pregnant that we weren't ready and that made the shock even more scary. But we love each other and we will love this baby more than anything. I just think that anyone could come up with reasons for years of why they're not ready yet, but you can find a way to make it work. I got pregnant 2 weeks after going off the pill, so things can happen really quickly.

You'll make the right decision. And you love each other!!! That's the most important thing.

JD said...

My daddy was a marine and my parents were married for 7 years before they had kids. They didn't want us jumping around from base to base so my mom had my brother at 31 and me at 35. By the time I was born, my dad was far enough along in his career that we only moved once before he retired. Just to give you some perspective!

Melissa @ I Pick Pretty said...

Man, can I relate. My husband and I had a scarily similar conversation this weekend, and I have a number of the same fears. I'm a couple of years older than you, hence my Time Is Near on getting things started up, but I'm still a little freaked out.

Laura Sue said...

hi! I'm following you! I love your blog & my boyfriend is about to go into the Air Force and i'm NOT looking forward to it!

Sara said...

I agree with Mrs. Newlywed. I don't think there's ever a perfect time, but most especially when you are military. I grew up military, with my daddy gone for a year here and months at a time there. And hard as it was on all of us, I am really proud to say my dad served my country. I also think that the whole experience made my family really close. When we lived overseas, it was really just us. Sure we made friends, but they came and went faster than you could keep up. I count my parents and my sisters as my best friends.
So anyway, I don't know if that helps. Yeah, it might be hard and it might not be how you imagined it would turn out, but the reality may turn out to be better than your wildest dreams.

Muffy said...

OH golly. This is a toughie! How stressful for you! I hope you guys can figure it out ok!

With Love from New Orleans said...

Aww! I definitely think you do what you want! When you are ready go for it! I cannot even imagine trying to have a baby without some kind of support system.. At least the base will have that safety net.

We are always here for you!!
If you need to vent... vent away! We are here to help!

Olde Town Style Guide said...

Oh girlfriend...I have plenty to say about this. Mr. Stilettos and I always worried that we would have trouble starting our family. Never did we imagine that it would happen so quickly and easily - we were not even trying to get pregnant. I spent my entire life worrying about our family and the thought of never being able to experience motherhoood...and then before I knew it...I was worrying about a million other things and most of them just brought me grief! Now that we are almost done our first trimester...I've come to the conclusion that you'll never be ready for a child...the timing will never be perfect and its all up to God. Its his plan and we are just going to roll with it and be the best parents we can possibly be.

No one can prepare you for the emotions you will go through before you become a parent and once you find out you are pregnant. BUT, no one can prepare you for the depth of love and emotion when your child comes into the world either. Its all part of life and each experience makes us stronger.

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

Ha! We had this conversation too this weekend. What did our men drink?

"Cookie" said...

Good luck! Whatever you guys decide is the "right" time. My husband is not military but in law enforcement (not a regular patrol officer). His schedule is CRAZY! I never know from day to day when he'll be home. I won't lie.... it makes have a young child difficult b/c I have a lot of the responsibility. But when you look at that little face..... NOTHING else matters!!

My advice is not try until you are ready to be a parent. the world as you know it changes...not for the bad but it's different. Being a mommy is the best!!

PS. not sure how i found your blog but i love it! :)

Mrs. Not-so-Domesticated said...

Babies...everyone is having them and they're everywhere I look. Because the hubby and I just got married, apparently its "time" for us to have one, but I'm just not ready.

I'm not sure when that "time" will be for us either. We're stationed here until Dec 2010 then we're moving again, and who knows where. I would love to start having babies, but what happens when we're alone in a new city with no support from our friends and family? I get what your saying...when will be the right time? I have no clue...

Piper Jacquelyn said...

You've got PLENTY of time, honestly! And I'm with you, I'd want him there when I was pregnant & for that first year, at least! That's a lot of stuff going on. But, like Mrs. Newlywed said, there is no "perfect" time. It'll happen when it's supposed to!

Unknown said...

I know how you feel! We have been discussing the military baby issues too, between PCS-ing and deployments, its hard to decide! We might try when he comes home later this year :)

Perfectly Imperfect said...

I don't think you'll ever be completely "ready" for a child you know? It's not something you can ever be fully prepared for. But obviously you know your inner feelings better than anyone!! If you find more reasons not to have one then there's your answer.. I wish you guys both the best with this decision and good luck when you do decide to try! Until then.. there's nothing quite like the fur babies.. They pretty much rock!!

Kristen said...

If I were you, I'd stop taking the pill now and get on the baby making come March 17th! You'd have the baby end of Nov/beginning Dec--- That gives you time together for most of (all?) the pregnancy and time to get used to having a new baby before Mr. Jetplane potentially leaves.

But what do I know? :)

Unknown said...

There is never a right time. Better start working on that baby in March!! hee! hee! call e when your knocked up!!

Seaside Prep said...

i really loved your honesty in this post. Who doesn't have these worries? OK. I am not married, nor is my serious boyfriend in the military. BUT, I am worried about planning life and that includes kids. And, I am SO not there yet. Just have faith in God's timing, know that you can't ever be like 100% I am ready NOW and also know that you are so not alone. :)

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